Monday, May 20, 2013
I LOVE THAT MAN!!!
Sunday, May 19, 2013
This bowl of heaven was born from sheer laziness to get up and go anywhere and a sugar addiction that runs through my blood line. Really.....it's just like vampirism when you think about it. It's not my fault.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
OK, so maybe I don't necessarily feel bad about the post as much as I felt the need to explain our sick sense of humor and/or mental depravity.
Either way, the past post stays.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Are you alone? Sad? Are you a waste of space? Would you like to try new and exciting things (for as long as you last)? Seeking single, white midgets of any gender for a thrilling, temporary opportunity?
Is your home easily accessible?
Do you have any self-defense training?
Do you keep your nails long or short?
Are you allergic to duct tape?
Do you gag easily?
Do you squeal like a pig?
Are you a screamer?
If you were to disappear, would anyone miss you?
Are you claustrophobic?
Are you a hemophiliac?
Can you take a hit or would you fold after one shot?
Do you mind being restrained?
Do you have a purty mouth?
Are you afraid of clowns?
Are you limber\flexible?
Does sexual asphyxiation bother you?
Do you have any STD's? Would you mind one?
Do you mind a submissive role?
Can you escape from confined spaces?
If so, rely with your home address, a recent photo and please leave your doors unlocked!
No midgets were harmed in the making of this post.
We're on our way back from a road trip and one of the topics that has come up is what a questionaire from a serial killer\rapist looks like...this is what we came up with. Yes, we know we're going to hell...
*If this list is at all appealing to you for real, please immediately put a loaded shotgun into your mouth and pull the trigger, you sick bastard.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
STORY 1 - One day my cousin (we'll call her Maggie), stopped at a red light and was putting on mascara while looking in her visor mirror. She only got her left set of lashes done before she was rear ended by a doctor, no less. Upon impact, Maggie's (not her real name), face went forward right into the visor. Can anyone guess what happened? No? OK, I'll tell you. When the wet mascara came in contact with the visor, it ripped everyone of her eyelashes out on the one eye! It looked like a mangled, smooshed spider stuck to her visor. For several months thereafter, Maggie (nope, not her real name), had to wear false lashes on the one eye.
STORY 2 - (Same cousin, different name. This time we'll call her Teddy) Teddy had spent a great length of time growing out her bangs to swoop across one eye (not the one without lashes), and down her face. They had finally grown to the right length, almost to her chin, and she was so happy with the way the style looked on her. Teddy (not her real name), was a smoker at the time and one day she decided to leave work early and go get everyone lunch. We all saw her walk out the door and then a few minutes later walked back in.....missing her beautiful, long bangs. Apparently, when Teddy (still not her real name), got in her car, she lit up a smoke with a bic lighter that had been sitting on her dashboard in the hot sun all day. And POOF....just like that, her beautiful long bangs went up in a smelly smoke of ashes.
* This is the same cousin that thought chicken fried steak was chicken.