Tuesday, May 21, 2013


My beloved Tigger and his claimed pizza.

How cool is he?!

Monday, May 20, 2013


Mike went out to run errands today and some time after he left, I received the following text from him, "I forgot where I was. Fortunately the screaming children and smell of urine reminded me that I'm at Walmart".


Sunday, May 19, 2013


I created the ultimate sugar lovers "trailmix" today. It is comprised of semi sweet chocolate chips, miniature marshmallows, Heath bar pieces, & shredded coconut. Throw it all in a bowl with a lid and shake til mixed. YUM!

This bowl of heaven was born from sheer laziness to get up and go anywhere and a sugar addiction that runs through my blood line. Really.....it's just like vampirism when you think about it. It's not my fault.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Past Post Remorse.....Maybe

I have sensations of guilt, remorse and a little regret over our post VICTIMS WANTED. Making fun of and laughing at horrifying things is how we deal with the ugly part of life. I think we would implode if we ever lost the ability to mock and make light of that which is tragic.

OK, so maybe I don't necessarily feel bad about the post as much as I felt the need to explain our sick sense of humor and/or mental depravity.

Either way, the past post stays.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Ghost Orbs

Those "orbs" in your pictures aren't ghosts.  They're dust particles reflecting light. You don't need an exorcist.  You need a Swiffer.

TV Etiquette

Apparently, acting like a monster truck announcer with a P.A. system while reading the TV listings requires warning anyone nearby that you're about to read the TV listings in that way.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Victim Wanted

Are you alone? Sad? Are you a waste of space? Would you like to try new and exciting things (for as long as you last)? Seeking single, white midgets of any gender for a thrilling, temporary opportunity?

Is your home easily accessible?
Do you have any self-defense training?
Do you keep your nails long or short?
Are you allergic to duct tape?
Do you gag easily?
Do you squeal like a pig?
Are you a screamer?
If you were to disappear, would anyone miss you?
Are you claustrophobic?
Are you a hemophiliac?
Can you take a hit or would you fold after one shot?
Do you mind being restrained?
Do you have a purty mouth?
Are you afraid of clowns?
Are you limber\flexible?
Does sexual asphyxiation bother you?
Do you have any STD's? Would you mind one?
Do you mind a submissive role?
Can you escape from confined spaces?

If so, rely with your home address, a recent photo and please leave your doors unlocked!

No midgets were harmed in the making of this post.

We're on our way back from a road trip and one of the topics that has come up is what a questionaire from a serial killer\rapist looks like...this is what we came up with. Yes, we know we're going to hell...

*If this list is at all appealing to you for real, please immediately put a loaded shotgun into your mouth and pull the trigger, you sick bastard.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Thursday, May 2, 2013

The dangers of wet mascara and a bic left on a dashboard

I have two little amusing stories to tell, involving the same cousin. Her name will be changed of course, to protect her from embarrassment.

STORY 1 - One day my cousin (we'll call her Maggie), stopped at a red light and was putting on mascara while looking in her visor mirror. She only got her left set of lashes done before she was rear ended by a doctor, no less. Upon impact, Maggie's (not her real name), face went forward right into the visor. Can anyone guess what happened? No? OK, I'll tell you. When the wet mascara came in contact with the visor, it ripped everyone of her eyelashes out on the one eye! It looked like a mangled, smooshed spider stuck to her visor. For several months thereafter, Maggie (nope, not her real name), had to wear false lashes on the one eye.

STORY 2 - (Same cousin, different name. This time we'll call her Teddy) Teddy had spent a great length of time growing out her bangs to swoop across one eye (not the one without lashes), and down her face. They had finally grown to the right length, almost to her chin, and she was so happy with the way the style looked on her. Teddy (not her real name), was a smoker at the time and one day she decided to leave work early and go get everyone lunch. We all saw her walk out the door and then a few minutes later walked back in.....missing her beautiful, long bangs. Apparently, when Teddy (still not her real name), got in her car, she lit up a smoke with a bic lighter that had been sitting on her dashboard in the hot sun all day. And POOF....just like that, her beautiful long bangs went up in a smelly smoke of ashes.

* This is the same cousin that thought chicken fried steak was chicken.